Dear Mr. Pattinson, (stop)
Please be advised that your lengthy absence from the public eye is causing undue stress amongst your fans. (stop)
Harsh words, negative feelings and non-stop cravings for sex hair are at an all time high. (stop)
All American fans can appreciate the bone that you threw to your British fans when you appeared to perform at the Soho nightclub, but let's remember 1776 shall we? (stop)
"The peasants are revolting!" You said it sister...those Twilight Moms scare me! (stop)
It would be advisable for you to make an appearance on American soil before heading to Vancouver to shoot "New Moon" (sigh) (stop, no really stop....I'm not kidding here!)
If we could stop hormonal teenagers from screaming their lungs out onto the floor, we would. (stop). However, seeing as you are playing in your words "The Hottest Vampire Ever", we can not guarantee any such thing. (stop)
When booking your flight to the United States, please be sure to post your itinerary to Robsessed blog. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated. We wish you best health, Hot Pockets, and Peach Snapple. (stop)
Very Truly Yours, (stop)
Jewels64 (stop)
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1 comment:
I wanted you to include my address and phone number in this post (stop)
brilliant (stop)
olive juice (probably not going to stop)
t.
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