Love affair with the Vampire....

So when did my love affair with vampires begin? No, I'm not one of those scary goth chicks all decked out in black....pale makeup, peircings, worshipping at the alter of Anne Rice and Stephenie Meyer!

Granted, I went through my punk stage where I listened non stop to Bauhaus's "Bela Lugosi's Dead", had my anarchy jacket, my shaved hair, the day-glo.... Good Times...Good Times....

But my true love affair with the Vampire began before puberty. Yep that's right folks, I was a sucker for the Hammer films. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Pure vampire campiness filled with buxom women just swooning at the feet of the Count of Darkness! Next came t.v.'s "Dark Shadows" with Barnabus Collins, the most mysterious neighboring vamp ever! I was hooked to the melodrama, the lust, the camp!

I totally blame Frank Langella for bringing about the sexy to Dracula. Has anyone ever seen the movie version of the play he did on Broadway back in the late 70's, early 80's? The scene where he comes through Lucy's bedroom double french doors... The fire in fireplace is roaring, she is in nothing but a nightgown, he has hair worthy of the Pattinson.... The voice...oh Jesus the voice! "Now it is you my best beloved one....you shall cross land or sea to do my bidding...."

He walks over, sweeps her up, lays her on the bed, kisses her throat, her breasts all the while whispering "I need, I need your blood..." John Williams music soars in the background...I was 13. That was the first time I felt it...lust, desire... VAMPIRE!

Well, boy howdy...how quickly did I read Bram Stoker's "Dracula"? Very erotic if you know what you are looking for. Still read and re-read it to this day! Anne Rice..."Interview with the Vampire" and "The Vampire Lestat"...classic auto-erotic vamp reading for anyone who has ever gotten turned on by vampires!

Then this little book, a young adult book by a Mormon mom comes along. The longing, the need, the under current of sex and desire... WOW! Taps into what Bram Stoker did with Dracula. Stoker's book dealt with the disease du jour of the time, Anne Rice tried to exorcise her catholic guilt over her daughter's death to Leukemia, and Stephenie Meyer alluded to the dangers of pre-marital sex..... Vampires seem to live a long and healthy life.

Maybe they represent so many of the hidden taboos in our mind or the current situation of the economy that has us in it's death throes..... Vampires feed on blood. They need blood. They appeal to the most basic instincts in all of us.... lust, greed, sex, desire,....the list goes on.

All I can say is that in the latest incarnation of Vamps everywhere, Edward Cullen has my heart....

If Looks Could Kill: Rate Twilight's Rob Pattinson - Photo Gallery - E! Online

If Looks Could Kill: Rate <i>Twilight</i>'s Rob Pattinson - Photo Gallery - E! Online

A New Moon Rising

Well, the word came out that Chris Weitz is set to direct New Moon. I had to admit, I was concerned. Concerned until I read his wonderfully impassioned letter and the approval of Steph Meyer. Catherine Hardwick's work will live on through all of the Twilight series of movies...her visionary talent help bring about the love story of Edward and Bella, Forks, and the pure emotion of being 17 years old. I will hold Ms. Hardwick's work dearly in my heart. But in New Moon, Edward and Bella's relationship changes. It becomes darker. So is it such a bad idea to have a new director explore the new dynamic? "About a Boy" was a lovely film, and it's pure emotion came to vivid life on the screen. I think Chris Weitz is passionate about this, and let's face it, after "The Golden Compass", he has something to prove.

Let's hope he gets the performances from Rob, Kristen and company that we as the fans of the novels deserve to see!

Little Ashes Widget

Confession of a Rob Pattinson Fan

Dear Diary,

Today, I can't tell you how many times I snuck into the bathroom to check the internet on my phone just to see th latest on my favorite Rob Pattinson blog. I just HAD to see what was happening in the London premiere. Nor can I tell you how many times a day I check my e-mail just to touch base with others who are just as obsessed as I am and can only understand the emotion and the depth of that obsession.

Oh sure, I have had celebrity crushes before. But what is it that seems to make this one so intense. Rob himself says it stems from the character of Edward Cullen that he plays. I beg to differ. It stems from his utter disdain of "media training", his wicked spot on humor, his self-deprecation, his heavenly good looks, his laugh, his intellect. Why him? Why not any other actor I crushed on in the past.

Simple Answer. The internet.

In my day, there wasn't the 24/7 flow of information or pictures. We had to wait to for photos to surface. We had to wait for interviews. Maybe the internet is the cause of the hysteria. WE feed each other and we feed off of the internet.

But at what cost are we wanting this information that the private life of a celebrity is sacrificed? On one hand, I think when you become a celebrity, you have to understand to a certain degree that part of your life is public domain. Rob is truly handling the public part of his life with such grace and dignity. However, at what point will it become too much? How do we as fans decide when the paps have gone too far when we still want to look at the pictures, read the latest gossip? Why oh why do we feel the need to intrude on a famous persons life?

Fandemonium!

At first I was excited to hear that the Twilight cast was going to be touring, giving autographs, answering Q & A sessions. Then the nightmare began. The fans were totally raped by Hot Topic and their accessory to commit rape - Summit Entertainment. I was livid. I was furious. Notice the past tense. I was mad because I had no hope in hell of getting a wristband. Yes, I was willing to fork over the $30.00 for a t-shirt and a poster and mega hours of waiting in line with thousands of screaming teens. How come all of us out here in the Twilight universe knew that it was going to be a clusterfuck from the get go?

Was it all a calculated ploy by Summit and Hot Topic to drive sales? Pretty much. Build it, and they will come. Period. Summit relied on the teen driven fanbase to supply much needed hysteria. You don't have to pay a single cent to get that kind of publicity. And guess who got hurt in the long run? Our man Rob was subjected to mass hysteria at levels that no human should have to endure. My heart bled for him everytime I saw each stress inducing appearance.

But here is the crux of all said mass hysteria. Did all the screaming and mayhem stop me from going to see the movie? Nope. Not one bit. I can bitch and moan about how the whole thing was handled and how the cast was pimped out...but how many of us stood in line for a midnight show or the first showing on Friday morning, November 21, 2008? Does that make me a hypocrite?

Deep down, yeah, I feel like one. I hate myself for bitching about the shameless promotion of the movie and the cast. But at the same time, my love for Twilight and Rob runs deep. Nothing, I mean, nothing short of an act of God was going to keep me from seeing this movie.

So what does that say about me and all the others? Not a damn thing. Because when all is said and done, it's nothing but a book, a movie and a talented cast bringing a little fantasy to us when we need it most. Things in our country right now are tenuous at the best. We all have no idea when and if the bottom is going to fall out. So I say bravo to those who brought us "Twilight" The Movie, when we needed it the most.

Personally, today I enjoyed escaping from my troubles. I enjoyed reliving a story that made me feel like the 17 year old that got lost years ago. If I can escape my daily crap by living through Edward and Bella for 2 hours...Hell , sign me up!

Confessions Of A Bona Fide Cougar!

You know, I was just falling asleep when one of those random thoughts from nowhere seems to invade your conciousness, and causes you to have an "Oh Snap!" moment.

Hi. My name is Jules. I have just realized that I am a life long Cougar. I was always a little leary about admitting to my friends that younger guys always had an appeal for me. Now, I'm not talking that I did anything school teacher pedophelia, crazy shit. Just liked younger men. Period. So, I had to think back on my history. Check this out. You'll agree by the end.

My first boyfriend in highschool. 9 months younger. Hot, kinda in a Patrick Swayze "Dirty Dancing" kind of way. He was my first kiss. Way too cute story about this boy to go into details, but needless to say, he broke my heart. Broke up with me during a high school dance during "Stairway To Heaven". BASTARD! I swear to God, I heard the Eagles song "Heartache Tonight" at least 7 times before we even got to the dance. He left me for his ex who was skinnier and a better disco dancer than I was.

Now, in college...I decided to go with older men. Broken heart, Broken heart, broke someone's heart, broken heart.

Next on the list: Bono. I call him that because he looked like Bono back in the day. So had a thing for Bono and U2! Wait, it was in the day when I was living in sin with him. I was 24, he was 19. That's Camille and Joe Jonas action right there! Didn't end well either. I was seeing someone else on the side just 2 months younger than he was. Hmmmm.....maybe a trend is developing?

NEXT! Did the older guy thing again for a while. Did have s lot of fun, I'm not settling down and never having kids shit. Boy, DID I HAVE SOME FUN!!!!

Okay, so it starts getting old, the serial monogamy thing. Then brainless here has the senseless idea to fall in love with someone 6 years younger than she is. I think..."Hey, maybe it's time to get married!" I was 37, what else was left? BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!!!! Yeah, that one didn't end well either. That was the relationship that broke ME.

Celibacy was the best thing that happened to me. I got me back. I got my self respect back. I got it going on again! I'm in my 40's, I'm fortunate that I don't look my age and I have my joie de vivre back!

Guess what? Boytoy Magnet...Again! What the hell? But, the best part is , I'm in on it now. I now understand that I and I alone have the control. So, now all this time lusting inappropriately after Rob Pattinson, Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy, Jensen Ackles...(really the list is endless), I was sought out by someone younger again! He's Rob's age and I'm having a freaking blast because it's all on MY terms. Thanks Demi Moore! You gave me the greenlight to wave my Cougar flag high and proud!

So, let me here from any of you other ladies who have had similar experiences! I know I'm not alone! I love having gorgeous arm candy!

I'm exhausted, and the movie hasn't even opened yet.

Sleep....wtf is that? Rob - 24/7? In the words of Sarah Palin: "You Betcha!" My ass is dragging. I'm spending so much time checking in on the blogs, searching the internet, chatting with other Robsessives that I will be dead before the movie opens. I can already picture myself standing in line for tickets in my bathrobe, bunnie slippers and an I.V.

Nothing short of nuclear disaster is keeping me away from November 21, 2008. I mean nothing. All the press junkets, all the photos, everything shoots through my nerve endings like Edward's venom. Burning me, making the desire stronger and stronger. MUST HAVE AN EDWARD FIX!!!

I think I'm almost as tired as Rob. I know there are a lot of you out there who can attest to this. I'm just terrified that I am going to be one emotional wreck during the entire movie. Maybe, I should take a sabbatical from all things Rob and Twilight a couple of days before the movie happens. Get a fresh perspective....

Yeah, and monkeys will fly out my butt.......

Time for some creative fun!

Okay, so I've been thinking about some of the fan questions that people are being able to ask Rob to answer. But I want to take on a different question.

If you could cast Rob in a remake of any classic movie, what would it be, who would he play and why does that rock your world? Think long and hard. I look forward to your answers.

My Answer: The Graduate. I would love to see him as Benjamin. I would love to see myself in the role of Mrs. Robinson, but that will never happen. I think Rob would bring a different interpretation to that role. He would have a little more vulnerability I think. It would be extremely appealing and you would be satisfied when he runs off with the girl in the end.

Ladies? Your turn....

Mission Impossible

Okay, my mission should I choose to accept it is to make a four hour trip to Dallas to a mall to brave thousands of screaming teens waiting to see Rob. Now granted, I know that I am not going to be the only older woman there. Hopefully I will be in good company with some lovely friends that I have met through the best Rob Pattinson blog EVER...Robsessed.blogspot.com

This is a blog that brings everything Rob, all Rob, 24/7 to us by the incredible hard work of two wonderful ladies: Gozde and Dani. They get much assistance from a lot of other big diehard fans who want to share the Rob loving goodness. I wish I had the time to devote to helping out. Instead I get the luxury of being able to comment and share with the rest of us Robsessors.

I have a mission. A mission to meet Rob, to make eye contact, smile, get him to laugh and be able to wish him all the best in his career. I hopefully will be successful and have stories to share. It is the least I can do for the girls who put in all the hard work that makes each and everyone of us smile with joy, lust, pure hysteria...

My heartfelt thanks ladies...We'll try not to let you down.

Heart pounding, hysteria producing humble hotness

I just can't stand it anymore. I feel like everytime a see a new picture of Rob, that my heart is literally going to burst out of my chest. He is a killer and doesn't even know it. Do I feel this way because we are all very guilty of doing a great job of whipping each other up into a frenzy?

How do you think you would deal if you were in the same situation? People screaming at the mere sight of you (okay, you haven't seen me in the morning. Thats pretty damn scary!).

We're going to have reports of young girls fainting (hell I may join them, he does bring on the vapors!), hysterical crying, pushing themselves to get to his car. I like my little Rob fantasies. They make me feel warm and fuzzy. I don't like the panic feeling that is starting to build.

I want him safe. I want him happy. I want for him to have so much success without having to pay a major price. He shows it in every interview how self effacing he is.

Okay Robkats! Lets solemnly swear to protect this precious hot commodity! Give him your support, give him your love, but lets give the man some room! Preferably mine!

Editor Note

Hopefully you realize the Kristen I was talking about was Miss FABULOSITY K. STEWART herself.

My apologies for any confusion or hurt feelings.

The Proverbial Crap hits the Fan!

Notice how I capitalized the word "Fan". We've all seen the movies where some sociopathic, emotionally deprived person stalks the object of their affection.

Mexico. Rob's appearance. RPL shutting down and re-vamping (pardon the pun) due to what's going on is only the tip of the iceburg. No Kate and Leo here. Just Rob. WE love Kristen. But this is just Rob.

Poor Rob. I don't want him to be afraid of his fans. The ones that truly appreciate his talent may make some silly crass comments, or sexual inuendo here and there, but we understand that he is own person! He does not have that annoying little copyright or trademark symbol by his name (yet).

Rob, we do love you. But I also know that if I were put in the same position, I would kinda freak out. Just don't shave your head (you'll never be forgiven for that one unless you win an Oscar) or beat up a car with a golf club while holding your latest drink from Starbucks.

You have handled it with grace, humility, humor, gentility, and probably quite a bit of fear. You have my prayers, my support, my wonderment and thanks for your talent. You have a lovely endearing quality of being so unabashed by your fame (I know it's still quite new to you. Hang in there BABY! ) We hold you dear to our hearts and pray that you will stay true to who you are!

Definition and Side Effects of Robsessive Behavior

Robsession: (noun) An uncontrollable disease brought on by watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Bad Mothers Notebook, The Haunted Airman, deleted scenes from Vanity Fair, Videos of said actor "Robert Thomas Pattinson" that are posted by the thousands on You Tube in complete excess.

Possible side effects that result from Robsession: Incessantly checking the internet everyday just to get a "glimpse of the hair", playing one scene from The Haunted Airman over and over and over just to hear him say your name when he says "My dearest Julia", pissing off Twilight Moms and causing posting to be removed from your favorite blog site, planning ways to get out of work just so you can be one of the first to see "Twilight", plotting and planning ways to get to Portland and dressing up like sexy nurses just to catch a glimpse of his ROYAL HOTNESS WITH THAT DAMN HAIR! while they begin to film New Moon.

Does any of this sound familiar? I'm sick people. I have a fatal disease. But oh, my, the joy of his smile, the curve of his jaw, the "aw shucks" way he stands with his hands in his pockets. His plain, raw emotion filled voice when he sings! These last two months have been the worst and the best of my life.

Support groups are now springing up all over the nation for fellow sufferers to share in their disease, admit when they are helpless, and above all knowing that for many years to come we will have to suffer through fantastic performances. But the good news is is that we don't suffer alone. Welcome fellow Robsessive! You have a home here. Please feel free to confess your Rob sin at any time.

Anglophile Nymphomania has taken control of my hormones!

So, I just finished watching Dan Radcliffe in December Boys again for the umpteenth time, not to mention GOF and Order of Phoenix, surfed the web for the latest on Rob Pattinson, watched last night's episode of "Gossip Girl" that I had DVR'd (Ed Westwick scorched in that one), and finally as the last kicker, I get to watch a totally hot trailer of "Quantum of Solace". Daniel Craig...Clive Owen....the list keeps getting longer ladies!

I'm seriously wondering if this is what my mother warned me about. They say a woman hits her sexual prime in her forties. At this rate, the next poor man I get a hold of, I'm liable to fuse him to the sheets! Again...and again and again! God, I hope HE can keep up.

Tell me your secrets ladies: Tell me the little details about men that drive you hot, make you insane with desire.... This could be fun, a little dirty and nasty. Just the way good sex should be!

Sex...Music...Dance...Romance

my So once again all the blogs and the gossip pages are lighting up with pix of our boy Rob out cavorting to the wee hours with hot lovelies that seem to be putting the 20 somethings into a jealous lather.

Really?...At 20 are your lives so boring that you spend your time bitching about who Rob dates. I'm in my 40's darlings...I lived my life in my 20's. I was out to all hours, drinking, dancing...., and then getting up to go to work! Work hard! Play Hard!

I love that you feel that you must share your petty almost teenage angst over someone who doesn't even know you exist on line. GET A FREAKIN LIFE! Get out, have fun, then post something that might be the least bit interesting.

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering...I do have a life, had a freaking fantastic time in my youth, and now look back with some regrets and a lot of fondness. Now I finally have the time to blog because after having 2 children, I can slow down and write when my children are asleep.

Are you all trying to grasp your tenuous 15 minutes of fame? Good Luck my friends. It's only when you knuckle down and try to do something worthwhile (like practice your acting craft/music talent like a certain very talented actor we know), you might just actually make a difference and truly influence someone.

For those of you trying to be the next Lauren, Audrina, Heidi or whoever... go to school...learn something!

Is Romance Dead or just in a coma?

Something struck me today as I watched a slew of movies that just didn't seem to fire up my imagination. My thoughts on why the "Twilight" series have been such a success is because it WAS left up to the imagination.

I know I have a pretty powerful one and according to the responses of that one kiss on the Twilight trailer, so do a lot of you. Another powerful image that comes to mind is in "Titanic" when you see only Rose or Jack's hand sliding down that back window of that car that they make love in. Same happened for me when Rhett took Scarlett up into his arms and carried her up that staircase and we see her very happy and very satisfied face the next morning.

Edward Cullen is a new romantic hero. Rob Pattinson is a talented actor, and like even himself said the response towards him right now is due to that character.

I think Rob you sell yourself incredibly short. But maybe that is what drives you to deliver the goods! You have the face of an angel, a body for sin, and a mind that just wants to spend hours talking to you after....well, I'll leave that up to your imagination!

"How to Be" in a Robtastic World!

Sorry for the pun kids. But I just don't know how to be anymore. My friends think I'm insane for following a young man who could qualify age wise to be my son.



This is tough times that we face with the economy, the continuing war in Iraq (bless you all those who serve in the Military! I praise you for defending my freedom and doing a job that frankly I was just too chicken shit to do!).



I need escapism. I need glamour. I'm not talking fake "The Hills" glamour. I mean old style, Hollywood, no-holds barred glamour. I need a Rhett Butler.



"Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn!" glamour!



Rob Pattinson is that glamour for me. I can't even begin to describe just how much I am anticipating him sweeping me off my feet not only as "Salvador Dali", but as "Edward Cullen" as well. I love that he transcends all age barriers. His genuine humility, self-effacement, drop dead stunning good looks, intelligence and sense of humor has made him into my Rhett Butler, my Mr. Darcy, my Edward Cullen.



Whether you agree or not, we all need something to escape to. This November 21st, I will escape to a darkened theatre to watch what I only will hope will match what I imagined in my mind while reading the "Twilight" series.

So Rob, sweep me up into your arms and haul me up that staircase to pure ecstasy. My life, like so many others needs to be swept away...if only for two hours!

Rob! Go home to London! NOW!!!

Oh my dear fellow Rob sisters. I'm worried for our boy. Really worried.

I just don't want to see him fall by the wayside like so many talented young actors of his generation. This young man is a gentle old soul who could be so crushed by the Hollywood system. Do This! No, Do that! My biggest fear is that someday we will see pix of him with (gasp! do I dare say it?) with some one as innoculous as Lauren Conrad. Damn, the thought of that just pisses me off!!!

Let us give our Rob some peace, some privacy. We have all come to love him for so many reasons of our own. The biggest reason being that he is humble, he is funny, he is just soooo normal! It gives us all hope that each and every one of us will find some one like that in our life time.

Rob, I beg you... when things get so completely hairy here in the U.S., take a London sabbatical.

We, your faithful fans, need you to be who you are. You are incredibly talented and I can't even begin to thank you enough for sharing that talent with us.

Stay true to yourself Rob! We will always be there to support you!

I have tasted the Rob Pattinson Kool-Aid!

I admit it. I have stepped up to the well and had a big long drink of the Robert Pattinson kool-aid. I am currently in what feels to be like a maelstrom of confusing emotions. First of all, I am old enough to be this young man's mother. But how is it that he is able to induce completely teen worthy swooning emotions within me?

Ah, the power of the internet. Will this man's career be propelled by his internet popularity or does his internet popularity come about due to his talent? I'm curious as to what others think regarding this question. There are thousands of blogs out there all devoted to all things Rob. How fortunate I feel to have found one that seems to attract older women all grappling with their fascination with Rob. Chime in anytime ladies! I calling out all you older women who have lived with the guilty feelings of crushing on Rob! It's some pretty heady stuff!

whizkid